Saturday, September 29, 2007
life is unforeseeable . there were so many things i thought wouldn't happen , but it did . so many mishaps . something about everything just doesn't seem right these days . whenever i try so hard , the plan is always rearranged . i get all my hopes up and watch them all fall every time . i witnessed another colour turn to grey . and it's just to hard to watch it all slowly fade away .and i'm sick , so sick of all these . the pattern is always the same . same old line . same old trick . same old love . same old pattern . i'm sick sick sick of this shit .
and just when i thought everything wasn't right , something happened friday night . tt day was a real bad day for me . i was sick , tired and hurt . but just when i thought i ran out of reasons to smile , someone came along . it seemed like fate . yet it seemed like just a coincidence . well , for some odd reason , i felt good about him . he seemed so sincere , so sweet , so kind and gentle . not like any other guy i've ever met . he was different . but then again , guys are all a bunch of jerks , right ? well , i hope i'm wrong . but anyhoots , he was just different . i swear it was . he was different than any other guy i've ever met . and when he asked for my number , i was shocked . i don't know why . i just was . i was just speechless , afraid and elated , all at the same time . i was afraid it was just a joke and i was afraid to trust guys . i was elated because he was just so captivating , in a way . and i was speechless because i was so confused .
whatever happens , i'll just wait and see . i'm too afraid too fall for him . but i can't help it . i'm sinking deeper . i'll admit . i don't know him tt well , but i feel like i've known him for so long . i don't know why . like i said , he's different . i don't know why i'm sinking deeper . i feel like a sponge , sucking more and more water . and i'm getting heavier . i'll stop myself , i promise . i don't wanna get hurt again . i promise . i want so badly to give love another chance , but i'm so afraid , so afraid . i'm already heavily broken . i can't break anymore . i'm done being hurt . i gave my all , and now my hearts in two . now , it's slowly healing , i can't severe it anymore .
i'm think i'm falling deeper , and it scares me , it scares me so much . i pray for the best . i hope it'll work out this time . i hope everything will be alright . because now , i found myself missing you , calling out your name . and looking into your class . and seeing you just makes me smile . why is that ? am i falling way to deep , already ? urgh . i hope not . . . . . .
" i think i'm falling for you ,
&& it scares me , scares me so much ! "